February the 14th

first up first, HAPPY ONE YEAR BABY.
my god I remember how we were grumbling during our second month that time is passing too slowly.
and look, it's already our one year. time really flies uh.
valentines day is coming, this is our 2nd valentines day together.
but honestly I don't really feel much. maybe because you treated me as thought everyday is Valentines day thats why.
this one year was a roller coaster ride for us.
but I'm glad none of us ever mention breakup to each other despite those frustrating and disappointing moments.
I wouldn't say we are the perfect couple, but somewhere there uh.
I just want you to know, I will not leave you.
stop those useless thought of yours k.
with lotsa love,
your wife.

:) with love

here to blog for you fatgirl. didnt forget ok. well. it's been awhile since I blogged. too busy loving you uh. ^^ blink of an eye. we are approaching our first ANNIVERSARY. gosh. time flies. this one year, we matured, we teared, we fought, we quarreled. but we are still together. It does not reflects who is stronger. it just shows that we are willing to compromise more compared to those couples out there. we know how much we mean to each other. hence we are doing this. I know I still have this sad sad thing in me every now and then. tried to overcome it. but somehow at times it's a lil too hard. but I promise I'll still work on it. I know you are a good girlf. but I ain't bad either. hehe! so I just want to let you know, no matter what happens, I'll love you. always. I'll be your moral support. your source of energy(cause I keep buy you food ma) I'll be anything you need me to be. of course, you husband and guardian angel also can :) love you dear.

hi baby,
remember last week you were complaining that my blog was short.
that is because I decided to blog for you again this week.
we're reaching our 1 year soon. in about a month time.
hehe time really pass damn fast uh.
was lying on my bed and randomly thinking through stuff we've been through this 11 months.
from honeymoon to comfort zone, then started quarreling very often.
to where we are today, like a married for 10 years couple.
we sorta went back to our honeymoon period, just that we are alot more important to each other now.
I love how you always refuse to hang up if I only say goodnight, without laogong and muacks.
although its the same old trick everynight, i still laugh to myself.
heheh why you sho adorable?!
i love to smell your cheeks and hold your face in my hand.
I love every single thing about you.
I love you to bits.
compared to you I know I'm not a very wonderful girlf.
but thank you for tolerating and this, and despite that still willing to stay by be.
you're the best I ever deserve.
I hope blogpost surprise you. <3
with lotsa lotsa love,
your girlf.

from your dearest girl.

hi baby,
its been a long time since i last bloged for you.
you've been bugging me day and night 24/7 to blog for you.
so here i am, blogging a post for you.

recently so much thing made me realise how blessed am i to have you in my life.
you know i'm not someone who express my feelings well, i guess writing it here for you would be better.
i'm thankful that god gave me a guy who loves me more than himself,
someone that would cook me breakfast.
someone that don't mind me drooling when i sleep.
someone who loves me deapite i'm the most unglam girl on earth.
and most importantly someone that loves only me.
sometimes i really wonder what have i done in my previous life to deserve such a great guy.
whenever you tell me i'm the best you ever had, i really don't feel that worthy,comparing myself with other girlf out there i'm kinda a very great dissapointment.
but thank you for being so understanding,
thank you for not trying to change me,
thank you for loving me for who i am.
lastly thank you for appearing in my life and make it such a better place.

looking forward to seeing you tmr.

with lotsa love,
your wife

reality slap

has been so long seen I last blog. not really having enough time. abit here and there, then next thing i know is to book in. would say don't really have a life. nevertheless. I somehow prefer it inside at times. at least I have nothing to worry about. I get to train, eat and enjoy. life seems so much easier and simpler. I don't deny the fact absence makes the heart grow fonder. true enough, my girlf was all that in my mind inside. during my short stay inside. I have all the time. so much that I started to plan and think about what lies before me. I see nothing. no future no money no nothing. seems for a moment I screwed everything up. definitely too late to shed any tears. but like you said, money is a huge factor towards happiness. will we still be as happy as now? what would life be then? I'm 20 with a o level cert. you are 17 going for a diploma and what's more a degree. I am not trying to list out the differences and be inferior. but let's be realistic and face it. what would life be in time to come. we may still be happy go lucky now. but when reality hits us real hard, or rather we both know the cruelty of reality. put aside others opinion. just alone your parents and relative's opinion. how would they entrust their beloved to someone who earns lesser then her. I mean if that was my daughter I would think that way too. it's the ugly truth isn't it. not trying to hint anything. just trying to share how am I feeling or rather what am I thinking all this while inside camp. I would say I dunno know what's my next step in life, unlike you. you got everything planned out. good for you. am proud. but I'm still kinda trap in my own world. you always asked. do I wanna marry you. would be lying if I say I don't want. but when I'm back home I think. with what? you've got nothing boy. even after working you still have a long way. is it still a realistic target? I don't know. problem lying with me. I'm not trying to be self centered or act one noble. but if you were to meet someone out there with a better caliber. I've got nothing to say. because I know you will be better off without me. I'm a bum now. what's in the future. no one knows. let's just hope all turns out well. I know how much you love me. I can see how much you do. am really glad a girl like you entered my life. from day one, I gave you my promise. I will still uphold it. till the day where if I'm still a bum and you found a better calibre man and wanna leave. we should have no regrets. because out love was for real and just that I couldn't provide and failed on my part. but from now till that day, I will keep trying keep pushing. till the day we can no longer hold on to this love. loves.

nothing is perfect.

alright baby girl. when you read this, I'll probably be in ns. firstly. I just wanna say. thank you. for putting up with me for so long. all those sad faces, and emotional days you have to endure. I know it's a torment. maybe I'm overprotective. but when i see you wear those clothings that whenever you bend over, everything reveals. hate to say it. I try to digest or 'modernize' my thinking. but the thought of everyone else seeing it just aggravate it further. all those sleeveless of yours. I hate it. every piece of it can be seem thru. I really really hate it. but i dont wanna let you know because I know you love em. bi have no other choice to keep it to myself. and that's why I cannot bring myself to force out a smile. I don't blame you. you are still young. thinking differs. so I keep telling myself hopefully in years to come , it'll get better. after all I feel a mature girl would be mindful what to wear and how she portray herself. I'm sorry for all these bad times. I ain't a very good guy to start of with either. shouldn't say so much. just wanna say I'm sorry for all the pain i brought to you.

dreams

we all have a dream. people dream to make them feel better. they treat it as an illusional platform to feel good about something they 'think' they cannot achieve. others dream. but with the final goal of realizing it. I too have dreams. much too many to name all out. some are merely fantasizing where there are those fews where I'm dead serious about accomplishing them. what can feel as good as reaching your goals man? I was once told, you go around telling people your dream so as to constantly remind yourself about it and it will happen. I'm more of a shy kind. HAHA. worried about being mocked. at least I'm here to write it down. so suck it man. :) I had always dreamt to taste club football ever since i started playing football. but it's those little little peer pressure and laziness that got me off track ending up no where now. i really hope to at least taste it once in my life. that kind of feeling where you tell your friends you have a match and it's recognized kind of competition! thrilling much. to me at least. HAHA. but then again. have a whole lot of commitments to attend to after ns. so perhaps it's gonna stay as a dream uh. no promises made. but if i do make it, it's gonna be an extreme big bonus yo! ^^ being my own boss is another dream yet reached. but im very sure thats my dream. to have my own business. I wouldn't say marketing and business strategies are my niche. but it's definitely something I am very interested it. those kind of managing your staffs and business. and of course that particular when your business flourish. gosh. gonna be a bang man! HAHA. though I have no clue with market I wanna step in. but believe me, it's something inside for ages and I AM realizing it at all cost. woohoo! lastly, believe it all not. i dream of having a family. my own family. I want to create that kind of warmth to my kids and spouse that my older generations fail to do. I want to watch my kids grow up teaching manners and the way of life. guiding them slowly step step together with my wife. and right now that Wife role, all I can see is karesiaoh :) I want a family so happy that my kids will be proud to say, I have wonderful daddy and mummy! I will see that my kids is well brought up! not to be rude, buy I don't want them to be like my cousins? some hooligans or what ever. I've got to make that step to change it. and this is definitely a dream that is sure to realize! alright, done crapping. gonna sleep! CIAOOOOOOO. <3